Americans are the most genuine people you can ever meet, I stand to be corrected, maybe I'm not widely traveled like you people. But, seriously, with the kind of questions and comments I've been receiving from a few friends I have made so far I still insist they are, again you have all the rights to think otherwise although I don't stand to be corrected this time round. "Why?" I will tell you why.
When you happen to depart from Heathrow International Airport in London headed to America that's when you start meeting the "genuine" kind of Americans I am talking about.
If you are lucky to sit next to one as you fly the first question you will get if you are black is ,"Are you from Africa or Haiti?" It is this kind of genuine, harmless and somehow dumb questions and statements that makes Britons think that Americans are dummies. In-fact they think America hold the highest number of dummies in the world.
If you are lucky like me one of the flight attendants will try to explain to you what a sandwich is and even try the sign language with you simply because you are from Africa. I know most of you will get mad for that. My advice to you, just keep calm, cool face, smile and constantly say,"Huh?". With those few tips you are entitled to a few minutes of comedy from an attendant or a seat mate who thinks nobody knows English in Africa and there's nothing like a sandwich in Africa. By the way, did you know that most of them don't know if Africa is a continent? Yep!!!. Most of them think it as more of a village, only a few try to imagine it as country Hahahaha.... I like this place already. lol
Any way, because of Obama mania and all that political fuss surrounding PEV not forgetting the Kenyan runners, some of them know there is a Kenya somewhere in Africa. The thing is that the American Media will always show you their best in every sector so you have no chance if you are not here.
My final destination was in Logan international Airport. I vividly remember this pretty guard lady who showed me where I was to present my documents. As we were chatting she asks me the same question, "where are you from, Africa?" I bet my accent sold me out. Of-course I nod to signify positive and add up "Kenya!!" in pride remembering where the most powerful person of this nation holds his roots from. Suddenly a wry of smile crosses her face and she puts it as a statement very nicely, "Ohh! You're here to run in a marathon!!".......... Weird...... Angry... Of-course I am, what else can a Kenyan come to do in America<<< my deep thought
See you in A FUNNY NATION: 2
I almost got sued by some of my friends for leaving MY BLOG unattended to for all that time. It makes me smile, bearing in mind that some of them thought that I will not make it to the second blog post. Hehehe
That's why I love doing something that challenges me and makes my friends turn into hater to motivate me. In a nice way ;) <3
Anyway, just to clear the air, I will say that I was away from internet for a very long time and since I was in a precarious position financial wise I had no option. :(
Yes I quit my previous job and I also moved to another continent in search of greener pasture. I'm yet to find out if they really water their pasture over here to make it greener as the rumors have it. Meanwhile I have to cope up with some of the most stupid questions, phrases, comments and all that bull crap about my home land Africa (the nincompoops don't know if there's Kenya somewhere, anywhere in the world. Infact, they think Africa is a country, more of a village...lol) And you tell me that Americans aren't the most stupid combined with illiterate people on earth.
I don't wanna start off on the wrong foot with them just when I got here. So, I will just preserve it for the next post.
For those who keep on bugging n teasing me with these question about the accent, I will make it clear. No I haven't got that American Nigga accent, but I will say that I am looking forward to it......
In Short I'M BACK!!
It's a normal routine for me to go to my parents place every Sunday evening and maybe stay overnight if I get too lazy to leave by the time it's dark. I was there last Sunday too. Lucy for me everyone was in, except my two siblings in high school, all seemed well, an example of one big happy family I would say. It got late very fast as it always does since we all love talking and no one noticed as time passed on and so I made an early decision that I was to sleep over. We had a tantalizing meal prepared by Chef Mom and my oh my, how full was I? Soon it was the 9:00 pm news time.
I seized being a fanatic of Kenyan News a very long time ago anyway. I mean, all the TV stations are filled up with the same old stories of the same fat old heinous politicians. But last Sunday was different, have you people noticed that we have a crisis going on in the Northern region of Kenya and the Horn of Africa at large?
OMG!! Did you all see the pictures and video footage of what is going on there? Where are our leaders? Where is the united world that we keep talking about? Where is the humanity in us being depicted in this pictures and footage in media stations? I remember by that Sunday (24th July this month) 20 people (mainly women and children) had already died of malnutrition and starvation in Turkana. By Monday evening 5 more people had died and the numbers keep moving up every day. As I am blogging this (3 days after) uncountable children and women have passed on since their frail bodies cannot hold the fangs of the stinging hunger anymore.
I remember watching the news with tears lingering my eyes in shock as a two year old child tries to cling on to her mothers dry saggy breast at least to get something out of it but in vain. Many more like her had fainted and some just motionless waiting for the world to hear their loud cry.
The numbers still increase every minute as you read along and what do our leaders do? Get paid by we the tax payer to sit down in parliament every evening and debate if they should import GM (Genetically Modified) maize since they didn't make any prior preparations to counter the hunger/ dry period despite being warned by the Kenyan Meteorological Institute/ Dept around one and half years ago. If I may ask any of my fellow Kenyans reading this, why are we still debating about GM maize when children, mothers and hopeless fathers are dying each minute of hunger? HAVEN'T WE KILLED ENOUGH OF THEM ALREADY??
I might not be a researcher or biotechnologist but I know one or two things about GM maize. One thing I know is that it's effects are long term and they affect reproduction. Then how can we be so insensitive and ignorant to an extent of thinking of long term effects or even reproduction as a matter of national security when people out there are dying of hunger? You can call me a "moral hazard" in this perspective and I will gladly reply "thank you!!"
Maybe to make you think straight I should ask, how many of you have ever skipped one or two meals in a day or even pass the whole day without food? Well, I have and there's nothing funny or interesting about it. In fact, that's a feeling I don't want to imagine myself in because whenever I pass one meal, leave a lone two, my whole day turns dull. As for those of you who have never experienced that, why don't you try a self induced hunger test or experience if I may.
With that in mind try to think of someone; a two year old child somewhere, a mother with his children, a man and his entire family, all of them staring at each other with hope filled in their eyes despite having not eaten for 5 days literally, nothing at all, not even water. See the feeling you got!! That's what I feel when I say that it beats logic that we are still debating about GM maize. Where has humanity gone to? I thought Michael told us that "we are the world, we are the children, we are the ones to make it a better place" why do we forget very fast? Is this another global disaster waiting to explode fully just like the 1980's and 1990's hunger disaster in Africa? I sure pray not.
small little? You will be surprised to hear that it can actually save a life on your account. Lets save humanity, lets save our brothers and sisters!!
As for our leaders, please order the GM maize to curb the hunger instead of debating and making public scenes and spectacles everyday trying to play cheap politics of 2012 elections. After the drought period is over we can sit down as a nation and decide in general if the GM maize is here to stay or we are to do away with it completely considering the pro's and cons it holds for the people of Kenya.
I repeat, you can call me a moral hazard for now. But, imagine if it was you personally, you children or your family in general spending your fourth day without food or water and there's no shred of tenderness exhibited by your government......
It was the most spectacular scene I have ever witnessed to date;Watching her sleep off! (NOT ON THE BED)
Many talk of watching nature and sunsets as their most blatant sights to date, but to me, that was nature at it's best. Who can negate such a crystal clear feeling? She and I did.. One thing I regretted for a long time. Was I to be blamed? I believe not.
But I no longer beat myself up over such petty issue. Well, it was not petty as put since my heart had decided to malfunction and instead of pumping blood to other body parts and organs it was now involved in some other inexplicable activities I'm yet to understand without consulting me first. Was that what you people call love? If any of you knows what love is feel free to indulge me because I would really like to know!
There's this guy, a good friend of mine who also happens to be my Pastor. He once told me that for any break up I go through I have earned myself a scar in my heart and spirit and I was like WTH I should go and see a Doctor to confirm this via a scan. He went on to explained to me that whenever one loves, his spirit is involved directly and so the heartbreak leaves the spirit wounded so much that in the next relationship your spirit will always hold back to averse wounds as such inflicted earlier. That got me thinking we the current generation are doomed.
Take an example with me. I have been through two terrible instances that correlate to the description above. In the first instance I was in fully. I loved her she loved me and that's all I know. So that's a scar right there because it really hurt bad when we had to part for good. In the second scenario as I have put it up there, I never got a chance to let go of everything there was to give like in the first instance. But still the bond was stronger than the first's. Yap, than the first's!
So that means that for any lady that will end up with me, she will have to help me get over two memories that are semi-permanently implanted on my heart, soul and spirit. Too bad!! Hahahaha....... (I pity her)
Now driving my point home, we all know of a close friend, a relative, a boyfriend, a girlfriend or maybe we ourselves have gone through terrible strings of heartbreaks. Just count all of them today and know how many scars you have inflicted on your spirit. I bet some of your spirits are bandaged like zombies because of the number of scars they have.. Lol
A thought for today, whenever you are out of a relationship you better slow down, after all you are just giving your future spouse a hard time because of the number of scars you will bring to his/her life later on.
I decided to blog this after one of my lady friends came to me seeking me to talk to his dude who happens to be my friend too. NAMES WITHHELD. Apparently, the dude told her that he likes to see her sad since she looks beautiful when she is sad. Lol.. Idiotic right?
So next time your heart forgets it's work like mine once did, just ask yourself, "is it worth it? Where is this headed to? Can I live without it for now?" I think those questions will help you know your way at that particular time.
Ya'll have a blessed week.
By the way, I am not the subject in this story. That's another persons ordeal :)
Gosh, I hate Mondays. I think we should write a petition to God and ask him to be "throwing" us from Sunday to Tuesday thus jumping Mondays. Don't you all agree with me?/ I think that would work......
By the way, good morning. I'm just from doing my laundry and it sucks being me at the moment. Can you imagine me doing my laundry in the morning? Yes, in the morning. Monday morning!!! I had to do it today because the lady who does it for me said that I'm paying her peanuts. She thinks she can get similar amount by sitting by the road side and singing for people. At least that's what she told me. I didn't think I could be accused of that since I'm always the first one to complain of meager salary wherever I get a job, Atwoli himself, that KOTU guy knows me!!
Don't start pointing fingers here, get the end of the story first. I was hit by surprise just like you when that lady accused me of that felony vehemently. Actually, most of the time I was not in a position reach that lady and so I would leave my load of clothes to Max and the service fee too. If you can quite remember from the previous blog, I promised to introduce Max to you. Y'all say Hallo to Max... ;) :) :D
Now, for those of you who don't know how it is like to be conned, I suggest you befriend Max for one hour. By the way, did I mention to you that he is a Financial adviser? Well, that's what his business cards suggest. Lol.
Just before I forget to clear the air about that laundry lady, I will just tell you that whatever I gave Max to hand over to the said lady was more than enough. Now you help me make that judgment, what happened that the money was not enough??
There's another side of Max that will just make you die laughing. Hardly a few months ago I was watching the movie "Tron Legacy". I bet most of you know it. It hit the cinema early this year and it's a science fiction movie, very nice imaginary technology. The kind of tech you can picture in your head when you're thinking crazy and weird stuff.
It was on an evening and Max was done with the days job. He meets me watching that movie and instead of asking me to start it over nicely so that he can follow through too, he does the usual, disturbance. Apparently, science fiction movies are his favorite genre of movies. So you can try to picture the kind of disturbance that was flying around. Well, he succeeded in his quest. He's very good at his game when he focuses!!... At that particular time I just felt like I could leave the whole house to him and walk out. But, I'm better than that. :) I had some other ideas.
My mind was busy generating some of the best diabolic ideas one can ever think of getting back at an "enemy". At last, I settled for one. I was going to prank him like never before. All that took like 30 seconds or so, I wish my mind was that fast when it came to thinking of how to meet lecturers deadlines.
Here comes the best part :D ..!! I decided to start the movie over and as I was doing so I was able to convince Max that the movie was "Digitally Enhanced" in reality (I don't know what that is too). Lol... Since he had previewed a bit of it and saw lots of tech plus I had some new shades on he bought the idea. My plan was working perfectly. I threw in one line that carried all the weigh just before I played the movie, and told him, "Ooh. Did I mention to you that one of the best features of this movie is that it's digital effects are enhanced upto the TV screen?" and he answered in curiosity, "How. What do you mean?" I replied, "You, actually don't need to use a remote on the TV and DVD player. The TV screen has been 'Touch Enabled' by the movie like the android cell phones"
Guess what!! He couldn't wait for the movie to start over so that he could command it by touching the TV screen and he was soo damn serious that he vowed to astonish his friends with it. LOL.. You can all imagine what was happening when the movie started and the DVD player was requesting "Play to proceed". Max was all over the screen pressing everything, Lol, and when he realized it was not working he knew at once that he was punked. I was on the ground laughing. If I didn't faint of laughter that day, then I will never faint of it ever!!!
He just walked out silently and up to date he has never touched that movie.
En that's Max for you.
As we go on we shall visit other few characters that make my life complete. But for now, I leave you with Max.
N.B: If you don't see any blog post from me any time soon just report to the police and inform them of my murder by Max.
En that's me when I'm not into poetry..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As I woke up today and underwent the same ordeal (AAArrggghh... it's devastating) I usually go through every morning I noticed that I have changed a great deal. Oh, By the way I'm still here. So I was not fired after all.. :)
Back to changing. Well, the change I’m talking about is neither physical, psychological, social, adolescence (did away with that like 50 years ago) nor what some of you might be thinking about. I'm talking about my relationship with my Creator and my God.
Hardly a week ago I read a blog by a lady, one of my motivators, and she was jotting down a letter to God.... Crazy huh?? But when I got to read the whole of it I was really swayed by her honesty and simplicity in the letter. You would have easily confused it for a letter addressed to a friend, a lover maybe!!. #NoEmotionsInvolved.
It got me thinking of all the great things that God has done for me and in most cases I just brush it off like it never happened, you might be forced to think that it's almost the same as when Sharon or Max hooks me up with a favor.
Talking of Max, this is a character that I bet you will all want to meet after I'm done telling you his stories. In fact I think I should introduce you to all the characters surrounding my life since you will hear a lot about them as we go on. Actually, most of them inspire me a lot and probably I wouldn't be where I am without them. You know what they say "I am because you are and you are because I am". It went something like that, or not; I’ve been out of school for ages. You don’t expect me to remember what every great African writer said, gimme a break!!
Can I ask you a honest question? Don’t you just hate it when God pulls a prank on you? I don’t know about the rest of you but, I do….
Many are times when we, well, I felt like giving up on this journey I walk with God. Take an example with this last scenario. I had really prayed hard for something that I wanted very much. The craving you have for something that you are sure if it is delivered in time you can actually challenge Usain Bolt in his own field because of the over blown energy you feel flowing within you. Yes, that’s the feeling.… Now you are following through ;)
In most cases that’s when God decides to prank you, like my in my case. I came to realize later that he does that to create a strong testimony thus his name being glorified or just to strengthen our faith in him. He made me wait for a very long time that I started to quote the Bible for “Him” reminding him that he is my father and that he owns everything. Therefore, I was entitled to my share as his son…. I love me when mad at God and I know he laughs at it too. Lol…. But, one thing remains for sure, he is never late!! In fact he says it in Habakkuk 2:3 For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. In 2 Peter 3:9, Ezekiel 12:25 and many more verses I could quote in the Bible.
This waiting game by God has made very many people lose faith and even leave it. I, in many occasions thought of giving up but somewhere down the line I just decide to give it some time. Stupid I would say, how could I doubt God??!!!... This happened for quite some time until I came to know God well. One thing many people get wrong is that there is a difference between living in Christ to get something in return and living in Christ to know him better. If you are like me in those days, you’d better start serving him to know him better because everything else follows in after that.
Did I mention that I got what I wanted?? Yipeee…..(with a deep voice) My God is Goodoooo and he is awesome.
Today’s blog was totally dedicated to give him praise and thanks for everything in my life. As for you who are in struggle like I was, I suggest you start by knowing your God deeply. Never fail to pray even if it is a two minutes prayer (you will be shocked to hear that it works a lot, it has worked for me since I'm very lazy when it comes to prayers. I'm still working on it), seek his face and not his hand i.e his glory and not material things. Seek for his guidance from the Bible and always remember that at his feet is the most high place you can ever be. You are good to go!!
En that's me when I'm not into poetry..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just as usual, I woke up today mad at everything/ everyone as if they had conspired to make me fall asleep and with a motive of waking me up in the morning. It it usually hard for me all the mornings until around two hours or so after waking up, that's when I get back to my normal self.
Anyway, back to what brought me here today. So, as I wake up I notice the one thing that keeps me up my feet as a man and makes me feel proud to be a man. "Some of me" is facing up and thanking the creator. Yes, all men know this, and if you don't talk to your God!!
Well, I walk past my room to the washroom and take a piss. All this time 85% (Scientists keep off) of my brain is still asleep and I am struggling really hard to keep my eye lids open. Then I remember that I MUST take a shower since I interact with a lot of people in a day, my job actually requires that. I'm not given a chance to choose. You guessed right, Daaammnnnn!!! Considering the cold weather in Mombasa-Coast of recent how will that happen? Talking of the cold weather in Coast, how comes God didn't send the memo?? Coast of all places should not be this cold!! We should be on the road protesting or something like that. After all we are used to unrailing the railway when protesting, I love Kenyans ;) :) :D
But, I am a lucky guy, well, it's not about luck. I happen to own a water heater which happens to be a cliche to all the single dudes out there. You know, for heating up water to prepare a simple and fast drink when your lazy self cannot prepare something to eat and the nearest restaurant is like a 100 meters away..
I heat up some water and yes I finally take a bath.
Apparently, the landlord told me that the shower was working when I was moving in. But, to my surprise it never works, not even one day. I'm still following up with him to see if I can get the house rent reduced to cover up the damage.. Lol
So I manage to take a warm bath and dress up for the day. By now a good percentage of my brain is up and working. A cup of coffee and some mahamri (around five) make up my breakfast. I'm accused of eating a lot by my friends, which always beats logic since I usually eat the same amount/ quantity of food as the accusers and yet they have the capacity to point and in most cases try to lower my esteem. Since I have the opportunity to clear it on my blog to day, I might as well go ahead. I hope you nincompoops read it!! The fact that my body is small slender does not mean that I am entitled to eating little food. You better get that right because of late I have been taking karate classes. That's a story for another day........
Now the hectic part comes, boarding a public service vehicle (PSV). This $&it always get the better part of me. Hahaha... I love music, so it is a must, yes a must that I board a PSV that satisfies my utility. How this gets the better part of me, you are going to find out soon :D :) .. One thing you can be sure of is that to get such a PSV the cost will be higher than normal and you will probably be late!! Why?? Because there are many more people out there, in fact all the young people in Kenya exhibit such preference and taste as this. See!!..... Which leads me to telling you that I will be owning an automobile soon. I'm tired of people copying each and everything one does, from business ideas to preferences and tastes of a PSV. That's whack!!
Anyway, that's how I ended up late today, again. Hahaha... My boss is probably reading this right now because we are friends in facebook and I will post a link there after I am through with this. If you don't get to see any blog from me for quite some time, know that probably I got fired..... Good day lovely people.
En that's me when I'm not into poetry..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!
